by Toshio Seaki.


i, too, i ................. !!!

added: 27/12/2012

if i am sad, often, i come to the state of desiring to be un-sad. out of it. over it. behind it. in front of it. no, totally out of it.
and when i actually attempt to reach it,
i doubt myself if i was even any sad before.

ice-cream is sweeet
so why do i bother !



by Ai Wei Wei .

no sound. no sound

it''s a silent tête-à-tête

when the trauma happened, all my feelings were boxed somewhere, of which I do not know, but was so sure of its detachment. What's left is a corpse of my heart, ..., burnt.


" Co le toi da co rat nhieu, rat nhieu nhung can bep nhu the. Trong tim minh, hoac trong thuc tai. Hoac o mot noi rat xa ma toi se toi. Can bep chi co mot minh toi, hay co rat nhieu nguoi nua, hay chi co hai nguoi. Chac chan, toi se co rat nhieu, o tat ca nhung noi ma toi song. "

(Kitchen - Banana Yoshimoto)


why ?


Screen still - 'The skin I live in'
a film by Almodovar.


Tilda Swinton & Schiaparelli clawed gloves / 1936
- 'The Imposible Wardrobe' performance



 necklace by COS



"Curry without potato is terribly tasteless".

best quote from the drama i''m watching. best !


A new bruise.
but it is ok. always.

'Empty Words' by Jurg Lehni & Alex Rich


Untitled II 1967.

Cy Twombly.

Francesco Clemente


muted appearance.
aesthetical indigestion.
fried red pepper + courgette + carrot + (a bit) broccoli + dried salted beef pieces.

kiss the mirror.

seeded bread + (pea+mint) humous on bus 15.


- via void()-


I was reading a Chiharo Shiota's book yesterday afternoon.
Something about her written emotions

really touched me

After the performance I always wash my body. Dirt upon dirt is everywhere. I try to wash myself, but it does not become better. Or I am already clean, but something stayed. [...]  I have the impression that my body is abandoning me. It is not an answer or a question about death; only my body is in a condition to accept anything. Even death. When I look at the blue sky or the ocean, I am overwhelmed by the same emotion. It is similar to the emotion after finishing a performance.  Something I cannot wash away… I still do not know what it is.

Diaspora – you know already what that means. Originally, in Greek, it meant “to disperse seeds”. It was a designation for the expelled Jews, and later came to be used for people who have a shared cultural heritage but have been forced to leave their native country and are now living in different places without the possibility of returning.  These people are scattered to the four winds, only certain that their bodies cannot be snatched away from them.

p. 79
It seems to me that there is no way back, no matter where I go.
I feel there is something common between the silence of the burnt piano and the silence on my way home, and that this is deeply hidden in my heart.
The threads are interwoven into each other. Get entangled. Are torn apart. And disentangle themselves. It is like a mirror of feeling.

p. 131


Days later, the wind carried the smell of the extinguished fire over to us. I then felt, every time I smelled it, that the smoke made me lose my voice.
This happened twenty years ago. I always carry this silence with me. Deep in my heart. When I try to express it, I lack the necessary words. But the silence lasts. The more I think about it, the stronger it gets. The piano loses its voice, the painter does not paint any more, the musician stops making music.
They lose their function, but not their beauty. They even become more beautiful.
My true word has no sound.

L, my ass !!



Vase / Sack



painting by Matthew Feyld.

Actions like ritualistic shaking or repeating a specific sound in the form of a mantra or chant are known ways of approaching or achieving altered states, of releasing individuals into an ego-less, trance-like zone in which there is no sense of time and where sense of self is so diffused that it ceases to be self and becomes all.

(Extract from "Nothing"- edited by Graham Gussin & Ele Carpenter)